The Chaos Chronicle » Funny Stuff

When in danger, wear the hanger!

Jason House — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 22:28:18 +0000

Check out this article on Reuters:

“Stop thief, why are why are you wearing that hanger?”

I promise I’m not a racist! He probably learned the neat little trick from an American. I’ve been in retail and shoplifting is terrible!

Technorati Tags: reuters, racist, suit, thief, german, danger, hanger, american, shoplifting

Intelligent Response from a Boeing Engineer at American-French Conference

Jason House — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 04:22:03 +0000

There was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break one of the French engineers came back into the room saying ‘Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?’

A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: ‘Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck.. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?’

There was dead silence!

Technorati Tags: response, Boeing, conference, engineer, Bush, aircraft, carrier, Idonecia, tsunami, hospitals, electrical, cafeterias, sea, water, French, American, America, France, ships

I thought Germans are really smart. Poor Guy!!

Jason House — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 23:47:41 +0000

“A German man forgot his car after filling it up at a petrol station, police said Friday.”

Click to read more!

Technorati Tags: germans, forgot, car, petrol, station, police

Color Test

Jason House — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 23:43:12 +0000

We have all seen it on a different fashion but this was a first for me. Do this test and then post your scores here in the comment section.

Go here for the test: http://www.fireworkspop.com/colortest.htm

Technorati Tags: color, test

Acts 2:38

Jason House — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 23:10:32 +0000

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services, when she was startled by an intruder.

She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled: “Stop! Acts 2:38!”

(Repent and be Baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ, so that your sins may be forgiven.)

The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.

As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar: “Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you.”*

“Scripture?” replied the burglar. “She said she had an Ax and Two 38s!”

Send this to someone who needs a laugh today and remember: Knowing scripture can save your life – in more ways than one!

Technorati Tags: intruder, robbing, home, valuables, stop, acts, 2:38, repent, baptized, Jesus. Christ, sins, forgiven, burglar, police, scrpture, ax, 38s, laugh, save

Indian Winter

Jason House — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 21:18:01 +0000

IT WAS ALREADY LATE FALL AND THE INDIANS ON A REMOTE RESERVATION IN SOUTH DAKOTA ASKED THEIR NEW CHIEF IF THE COMING WINTER WAS GOING TO BE COLD OR MILD.

SINCE HE WAS A CHIEF IN A MODERN SOCIETY HE HAD NEVER BEEN TAUGHT THE OLD SECRETS. WHEN HE LOOKED AT THE SKY HE COULDN’T TELL WHAT THE WINTER WAS GOING TO BE LIKE.

NEVERTHELESS, TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE, HE TOLD HIS TRIBE THAT THE WINTER WAS INDEED GOING TO BE COLD AND THAT THE MEMBERS OF THE VILLAGE SHOULD COLLECT FIREWOOD TO BE PREPARED.

BUT BEING A PRACTICAL LEADER, AFTER SEVERAL DAYS HE GOT AN IDEA. HE WENT TO THE PHONE BOOTH, CALLED THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE AND ASKED, “IS THE COMING WINTER GOING TO BE COLD?”

“IT LOOKS LIKE THIS WINTER IS GOING TO BE QUITE COLD,” THE METEOROLOGIST AT THE WEATHER SERVICE RESPONDED.

SO THE CHIEF WENT BACK TO HIS PEOPLE AND TOLD THEM TO COLLECT EVEN MORE FIREWOOD IN ORDER TO BE PREPARED.

A WEEK LATER HE CALLED THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE AGAIN. “DOES IT STILL LOOK LIKE IT IS GOING TO BE A VERY COLD WINTER?”

“YES,” THE MAN AT NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE AGAIN

REPLIED, “IT’S GOING TO BE A VERY COLD WINTER.”

THE CHIEF AGAIN WENT BACK TO HIS PEOPLE AND ORDERED THEM TO COLLECT EVERY SCRAP OF FIREWOOD THEY COULD FIND.

TWO WEEKS LATER THE CHIEF CALLED THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE AGAIN. “ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY SURE THAT THE WINTER IS GOING TO BE VERY COLD?”

“ABSOLUTELY,” THE MAN REPLIED. “IT’S LOOKING MORE AND MORE LIKE IT IS GOING TO BE ONE OF THE COLDEST WINTERS WE’VE EVER SEEN.”

“HOW CAN YOU BE SO SURE?” THE CHIEF ASKED.

THE WEATHERMAN REPLIED, “THE INDIANS ARE COLLECTING FIREWOOD LIKE CRAZY.”

Say “Ay Bay Bay” if you are Indian! I’m hollerin’ “AY BAY BAY!!!”

Note: I am not making fun of Indians. I wouldn’t want this to be mistaken as that at all. I am Indian myself. Why would I make fun of myself??? -Jas

Technorati Tags: indian, winter, modern, national, weather, service, cold, chief, tribe, firewood, meteorologist, ay bay bay

Okay now…I knew some people are crazy…but THIS???

Jason House — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 22:10:06 +0000

Check out this dolt that is trying to sue Google who allegedly used his Social Security number to form their company name. Oh yeah, and the Philadelphia 76ers played an indispensable role in disembroiling the code! I think there is something about a $200 Burton snowboard, as an asset, as well. Someone needs to tell him that his “capital” is off by two letters!

Latuh,
Jason

EDIT: I guess it would help if I would give you a link to the story huh? http://www.techcrunch.com/2007/09/21/google-sued-for-crimes-against-humanity/

Technorati Tags: people, crazy, dolt, Google, social, security, name, Philadelphia, 76ers, indispensable, role, code, dollars, Burton, snowboard, asset, capital

A person with 25 names????? OMG!!!

Jason House — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 18:11:53 +0000

Autumn Sullivan Corbett Fitzsimmons Jeffries Hart Burns Johnson Willard
Dempsey Tunney Schmeling Sharkey Carnera Baer Braddock Louis Charles
Walcott Marciano Patterson Johansson Liston Clay Frazier Foreman Brown

How is that for a name??? It’s true! Read it here: http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/lifestylebritainnames

Technorati Tags: Autumn, Brown, 25, name, names, omg, thechaoschronicle, jasonrhouse

Bless her heart. She jus cain’t do it can she?

Jason House — Sat, 23 Jun 2007 15:51:03 +0000

Hey folksies….I thought it was time for anther vid. You have GOT to see this!!!

Technorati Tags: bless, heart, southern, accent, video, hillary, clinton, alabama, jasonrhouse, thechaoschronicle

72 year old man gets High School Diploma along with Son and Grandaughter

Jason House — Sat, 02 Jun 2007 20:47:12 +0000

Three graduates. One party. Probably a big cake. Three generations of
the same family are getting high school diplomas: James Nunley, 36,
daughter Brittany Wright, 17, and father Jim Nunley, 72. Click story to read more.

Technorati Tags: dad, son, daughter, diplomas, graduates, party, cake, generations, three, James Nunley, Brittany Wright, Jim Nunley